do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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