I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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