We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
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also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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