how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
