is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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