If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize