using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
