seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
