areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Its about making memories worth repressing
I cut my penus on the lid.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
