i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
