Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
