Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i think i just lost a toe
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