If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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