No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
