hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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