i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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