He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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