i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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