Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
