so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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