He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
