We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
