Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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