so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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