yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize