i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
