just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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