Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
