I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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