well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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