Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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