Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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