my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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