he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
