Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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