Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
