Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!