The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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