Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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