Texts From Last Night

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  (682): View more from Texas

  nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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  (682): nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise http://tfl.nu/kg9z
  Replies (1) Good night (1270) Bad night (701)
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  (925): View more from California

  im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?

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  (925): im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going? http://tfl.nu/wvih
  Replies (65) Good night (5054) Bad night (1533)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

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  (727): She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. http://tfl.nu/rrn9
  Replies (117) Good night (3154) Bad night (11928)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.

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  (443): Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable. http://tfl.nu/quma
  Replies (7) Good night (5938) Bad night (1208)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof

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  (913): Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof http://tfl.nu/58vn
  Replies (8) Good night (5130) Bad night (992)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.

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  (386): I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music. http://tfl.nu/9pnm
  Replies (31) Good night (7841) Bad night (1321)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I don't understand but I'll be there in 5

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  (860): Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt? (1-860): I don't understand but I'll be there in 5 http://tfl.nu/rms0
  Replies (7) Good night (3340) Bad night (707)
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  (916): View more from California

  God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.

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  (916): God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines. http://tfl.nu/isnh
  Replies (12) Good night (2273) Bad night (752)
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  (427): View more from

  Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.

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  (427): Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it. http://tfl.nu/to7a
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (970)
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  (925): View more from California

  Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion

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  (925): Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion http://tfl.nu/770v
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (950)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?

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  (256): It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me? http://tfl.nu/7mmq
  Replies (7) Good night (1275) Bad night (465)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.

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  (303): Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE. http://tfl.nu/ysj2
  Replies (13) Good night (1405) Bad night (430)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.

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  (757): If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably. http://tfl.nu/joah
  Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (295)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you

  (1+44): View more from

  Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause

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  (+44): This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you (1+44): Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause http://tfl.nu/oxqa
  Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (244)
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  (+57): View more from

  I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.

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  (+57): I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird. http://tfl.nu/r46z
  Replies (5) Good night (775) Bad night (285)

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