im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
