last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.