just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?