Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.

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(410): View more from Maryland

you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"

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(914): View more from New York

Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?

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(319): View more from Iowa

Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant

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(408): View more from California

Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.

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