i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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