did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
NoShamevember. You game?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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