It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
