Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
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You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.