Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.