Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
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I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
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I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.