My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
