I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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