Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
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I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can't turn off my feet"
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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