U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
