Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
