my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize