he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
