worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
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Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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