Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
that's an acceptable place to lick
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i out mim tonsoeep
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