have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
