Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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