WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
