so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
