Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
And then he peed in my hair
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