This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
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I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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