How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
