The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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