I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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