we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
