It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
