yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
