2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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