Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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